i.

your the only thing i hate. i hate seeing you in person. i hate having to ask you questions. i hate wasting most of all my fucking time talking to you on the most shittiest instant messaging server ever. i hate thinking of you all the fucking time. i hate having to say that i'm over you, when i'm just fucking lying to myself and many other people. i hate when you used to say that you loved me, well you know fucking what? those 3 words are rephrased now as bullshit. i hate the fact that i still like you, although i can't fucking have you. i hate the fact that you played me. but to sum it all up. your a fucking asshole, your the only thing on the earth that i hate. realize that, now.

ii.

i have taken into consideration that you are not my friend. your just another fucking aquatience. you mean fucking nothing to me. the 6 people in my life that prooved to me that they actually love me, and that they'll actually be there for me no matter what, they are the people my life would be proud to fucking give to. stop thinking or saying that i'm your fucking bestfriend. i'm fucking not. your wasting your time on writing a 4 paragraph love letter about me, and all of it isn't fucking true.

iii.

you fucked up my personality. you've fucked up my ego. you've fucked up my self esteem. you've fucked up my life.

iv.

i hate remembering the fact that you're the one that's going to make me fall into fucking old habits. i hate remembering the fact that you said all the sweetest things in the fucking world to me, when they didn't mean fucking shit, and you regretted it an hour later. i hate remembering that i actually said ' i love you too', and meaning it. i hate remembering the fact that i always tried to look amazing for you. i hate remembering that i threw myself at you.

v.

you used to call me beautiful, and you used to call me babe. now you call me pretty and you just call me by my name.

vi.

i hope the fucking next time my name rolls off your tounge you spit blood. because bitch, after all the fucking things i've done. after all the stupid shit i've gotten myself into. you deserve to do the same shit that i did.

vii.

if i had a dollar for every single person who has let me down/dissappointed me/broke my heart, i'd be pretty damn rich. that isn't something i'm proud of.

viii.

i remember when i'd try to fucking catch up on my sleep. because i couldn't stop thinking about you. now i think i just made a total fucking mistake on that one. i should have fucking thrown you out of my fucking life for good. but my ego is too broken down because of your stupid ass. i hope you feel my fucking pain by now.

ix.

i have nobody to fucking talk to anymore. i have nobody to depend on anymore. why? i honestly don't know. the shakedowns and breakdowns, and the crying that lasts all night happens weekly now. and it get's old. i hate having to think i have people that care for me and that will pick me up when i fall. but i think my minds just lying to me. i think it has been all along, i wouldn't know.

xi.

faking to be happy, shit, i don't think i have any emotions anymore. because of you. look at what you've done. thanks, you piece of shit.

and also,

don't fucking argue with me anymore. i can tell you dead on now, i am a fuckup. i'm a liar. i fake my emotions. i try to be pretty. i'm not beautiful or gorgeous, no matter how much you tell me. you don't love me, but believe it or not, when i say i love you that means forever. can you get that through your head?

xii.

i don't know how much attention you want from me. i don't know how much you want me to be around you. i don't know how much time you want me to talk to you for. i don't know how much you expect out of me. it'd be easier if we had our old friendship back. but it's all my fault, i really shouldn't be complaining.

xiii.

i hope you know that i never loved this way before.